I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
