I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think people are normalizing furries
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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