Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
