the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
