if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If I die, sorry about rent.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
