It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
