Your face is a jimmy john
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Duck Duck Cougar?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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