we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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