This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
