Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
