We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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