You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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