Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
