I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
