He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
