Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
