just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
