My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
