i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
