If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
