That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
