Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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