I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
