apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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