Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
