I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
