I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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