just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
