Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
