1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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