Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
