This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
