she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
