Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
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