What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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