i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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