yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
