I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
