I understand Curling. That high.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Found the puke drawer
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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