Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
