Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
