Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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