Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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