I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
