Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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