god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
