the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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