Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
