How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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