I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
