VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
