and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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