He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
