I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
