Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
