what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
