Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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